zerosixnine's aircraft rules/regulations

Below are a few simple thoughts for you (and yours) to consider to ensure that zerosixnine enjoys his flight with you...should we wind up on the same aircraft!

• once you board the aircraft...if your seat assignment is in row 27...please don't start looking up at every number posted above each row...as you work your way from row #2 to row #27! It's simple math! If I need to explain this to you...you really shouldn't be flying!

• if you can't manage to place your carry-on baggage in the overhead compartment on your own (without the help of others)...it's really not carry-on baggage...is it?

• if you can manage to place your carry-on luggage in the overhead bins...please do so without blocking the aisle so that the rest of us can proceed to our designated seats. Not sure? Just look over your shoulder and if you see one or more persons standing there...you're blocking the aisle!

• if you have a toddler traveling with you, don't consider it "cute" to watch said toddler wobble up and down the aisle...with you a few feet behind it...admiring how cute it is! If you can't control said toddler now...your in for big trouble down the road!

• within 30 seconds (a minute...max) after your infant/toddler starts screaming/crying, please escort said infant/toddler to any available restroom until it is no longer screaming/crying.

• upon landing and the flight attendant announces..."please remain in your seats, with your seatbelts fastened, until the captain has turned off the fasten seat belt sign"...please don't be one of the half dozen or so a**holes who ignore this announcement!

• once the captain has actually turned off the "fasten your seat belt sign" and you're not seated in 1st class, there really is no reason for you to jump up out of your seat and start grabbing your carry-ons from the overhead bins (assuming that you were able to put them up there on your own in the 1st place!) Relax! You're not going anywhere for at least another 10 or 15 minutes. This is especially true if you're located in row 15 or higher!

• finally...the baggage claim area. How many black bags do you grab off the conveyor belt...only to put them back on...after you realize that said bag is not yours! This really annoys me, especially when said bag is MINE! (The one with the red ribbons on one handle and the yellow ribbons on the other!)

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to flying with you in the near future!