Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Cruisin' with my Peeps!

As part of our two week vacation to Key West and other parts of Florida, the Mrs. and I opted for a two-and-a-half day cruise to Nassau out of Miami.   Actually, Carnival advertises it as a 3 night, 4 day(?) cruise!   Given that this particular cruise departs from Miami at 4PM on Friday (we didn’t depart until about 7PM) and returns to Miami at 7AM on Monday…that’s two-and-a-half days by my count!

All in all, it was a relaxing and enjoyable journey.   One day (+) in Nassau and a day at sea on the return voyage.   Aside from that, what captured my attention more than anything else, were the "looks" of many of my fellow passengers (2,600+)!

My wife thinks I’m going to hell for these comments, but what I saw amazed me for two-and-a-half days.   It started from the moment we arrived at the pier in Miami.   My wife rolled her eyes at me every time I pointed out these things.   Pointed out what?   That’s what you’re probably thinking.   Well here goes.   These are my personal observations…and yes…I’m probably going to hell!

Store bought hair!

  • It was everywhere...EVERYWHERE!!!
  • Braids, wigs, extensions and more braids in every shape, size, color and length imaginable!   Mid-back or waist length were the lengths of choice.
  • There were enough braids, if tied end-to-end, could circle the world!
  • Everywhere I looked there were braids!   It was a braids onslaught!
Look…I don’t have anything against store bought hair…but when it screams store bought…that just sends me over the edge.   There was obviously so much store bought sh*t on this cruise that Chris Rock could have filmed a sequel here!

For the women, it was the big (and I mean BIG) gold hoop earrings.   If not hoops, saucer size were just as fine.   For the men…I noticed a few gold teeth…maybe more than a few!

Fat (obese) folks!
I should talk!   Overweight…yes, obese no!   We’re talkin’ both men and women.   These were big people…people!   Somehow, many of the overweight women prefer to wear these ankle length jersey dresses, preferably in two or three sizes too small!   You get to see sh*t you don’t want to see.   Do they have magic mirrors at home?   Do they have any mirrors at home?

Neck (ugh), semi-exposed titties, arms, calves, backs, ankles, EVERYWHERE!   Did I mention the titties!

Yes!   I'm going to hell!

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