I can't relocate/retire there!

My intent is not to offend anyone... my best friends and relatives live in some of these states. I just don't think I could.

• Alabama - The scars are just too deep!   The Edmund Pettus Bridge….and didn’t they blow up a church that killed 4 little innocent children?   Did I mention Bible Belt?


• Alaska - Sarah Palin!   AND it’s too cold…AND…you can carry a concealed weapon without a gun permit!   I still want to take a cruise there though!


• Arizona - All my out-of-state (or out-of-country) Latino friends probably would NOT come to visit me!   And did I mention you can carry a concealed weapon without a gun permit?


• Arkansas - Tornado Alley and Bible Belt!


• California - I could do it…it's beautiful!   San Fran, the Pacific Coast Highway!   Redwood Forest!   We even own a timeshare in Laguna Beach!   BUT the potential earthquakes…nevermind!   Lived through a 6.2 in Tokyo…and that was enough for me!   Did I mention mudslides and yearly fires!   Oh, and I think there's a problem with the budget?


• Kansas - Tornado Central!   With any luck...maybe one will take out the Westboro Baptist Churh!   Sorry Toto...but we're not here anymore!
  


• Kentucky - Rand Paul & the Tea Party?   Did I mention the Bible Belt?
  


• Louisiana – I luv me some New Orleans…but this is Katrina territory…not to mention the BP oil spill!   Did I mention Bible Belt?   Oh...and by the way...they just passed a bill allowing concealed weapons in church!   Why would anyone need a weapon (concealed or not)...in a church?


• Minnesota - Beautiful lake country BUT...extremely cold in the winter…plus that wacko Michelle Bachmann!   Thank God for Al Franken.


• Mississippi - I could go on forever on this one and I love you Morgan Freeman…but…


• North Carolina - Spent many summers in the Outer Banks!   However...the citizens voted for Jesse Helms to serve them in the Senate for 30 years!!!   Did I mention Bible Belt?


• North Dakota - in spite of a great movie…aka “Fargo”…it’s cold as hell and the population is small and appears to be extremely homogeneous.   No?   Can you get good Chinese takeout food there?


• Oklahoma - See Arkansas!


• South Dakota - See North Dakota!


• South Carolina - They voted for Strom Thurmond to be their governor and then sent him to the Senate for eight terms....the last term ending in 2003!   Welcome to the 21st century people!   Is the confederate flag still on the capitol building?   Did I mention Bible Belt?


• Texas - they elected George W. Bush to be their governor!   And…recently...didn’t their school board decide to rewrite history?  This is the new Texas Massacre!


• Tennessee - Perhaps a bum wrap?   Memphis is cool, however...the formation of the Klu Klux Klan?   The assassination of Martin Luther King.   Did I mention Bible Belt?


• Utah - I think they all look alike and...although declining...think alike!   No?
  


• Virginia- UPDATE!   June 18th, 2010.   Virginia wasn't on this original posting...but my best friend who resides in Virginia...just informed me that you can carry concealed weapons there!  I need to go read up on the 2nd amendment!   This is getting out-of-hand!
  


• Washington - Seattle…beautiful…BUT it rains how many days of the year???   Doesn’t that volcano erupt every now and then?


• West Virginia - Deliverance!   Bible Belt!   Can a Boeing 767 land anywhere in the state?


• Wyoming - panoramic beauty…population about half a million.   Can’t be much diversity?   I'm sure you can't get good Chinese takeout food there!   Doesn't Dick Cheney still live there?   Matthew Shepard...R.I.P.!