One! Zero! Zero! Zero!!!!

In spite of yesterday's "bitching" post, it just dawned on me that this is my one thousandth post!!!   I'm happy about my little space here on the internet and I'm glad I started this.   My inspiration back then?   It was the birth of my grandson!   He's here just over seven years now and still calls me Dude!!!   Yes...in spite of the "bitching", I'm happy and I'm grateful for all that I have!!!

An e-mail from my room-mate!

He was more than just a room-mate during our junior year!   He is a dearly beloved lifelong friend.   We belonged to different fraternities and and we are not of the same race.   Our backgrounds are different...but we share so much in common!   He sent me this e-mail out of the blue and I wepted!   Every time I read it I still weep.   I love this Dude!

Rooms,
I loved re-reading your "Journey to Dubuque" just now.   I think as roommates we talked about our stories enough that I knew much of it, but I liked reading from the perspective of looking back after 50 years of growth and life.

As dissimilar as our lives may have seemed as we came to Dubuque, we had similar stories.   I was surrounded by wealth and privilege but perhaps because my father began his career as a retail salesman and gradually became more successful, and had eight kids, we always, from my perspective, were many steps behind the Joneses.   Not that we were lacking in material things, just that our expectation (and entitlement) was so much less than those around us… just like you.

But more to the point, I think the love that each of us found in our homes and the openness that somehow was taught to us or bred in us, made us brothers in spirit even before we got to know each other.   I think it was 1965 when we became friends.

At the time, I was so dumb or sheltered I had no idea how big a deal it was for us to decide to be roommates.   I had of course witnessed prejudice all my life but my family always gave me to believe that it was ignorant and shameful.   New Canaan was an enlightened community where race was never even mentioned, except to disparage Southerners in the news for being racist.   It was just, I supposed, coincidence that I never had more than 1 or 2 black classmates throughout K-12.   Later, I had gone through the agony of trying to integrate our fraternity but I guess I chose to believe that it was the 1 nay vote system that was my undoing.   I mean even many a 100 proof WASP, Biff or Chip had trouble not getting at least 1 secret nay out of 26.

Maybe it was that experience that spurred me to try and talk you into taking a chance on me.   But I honestly think it was just that I felt that you were a kindred spirit.   And wasn’t that ditsy, flighty, 19 year old me, right about that one thing?

You made my last 3 years at Dubuque better and broader and more fulfilling.   I learned more from you in subtle ways, than Soc, Psyc and 20 other courses rolled into one.   You were a kind and patient friend who forgave me my naiveté about the larger world and took me into your circle.   And we always had fun.

As I’ve grown and matured, I realize that you are and have always been the type of guy that many people feel is a kindred spirit.   Your easy-going, fun-loving, goodness is magnetic.   I believe it makes those around you a little better.   Even me.

Much love old dear friend, Rooms

41 Years Ago Today!

Bleeding Edge Baby Boomer!

I received an e-mail from a friend (and fraternity brother)...the title was "The Back Nine".   At first glance I ignored it because I assumed the piece was about golf.   I don't do golf!   I've been on a golf course three times.   Yes...it's addictive...but I'm not good at it!

Anyway...as it turns out, "The Back Nine" is a metaphor for the stage of life baby boomers now find themselves in.   Most boomers probably liked their front nine more than they are liking their back nine, but partaking in the second half of life's links does have advantages.   As someone said, chiefly among them...of course, is that you are not deceased.   As one's generation ages, not being deceased becomes more and more of a perk.

The original transcript talks about all the downsides of getting older:

• retired and getting gray with all your friends
• moving slower
• taking naps (not me...yet anyway)
• things that you wish you had done, but didn't!
• things that you did...but wish you hadn't!

But then "The Back Nine" goes into some more positive thoughts...

"So, if you're not on the "back nine" yet... let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think.   So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly!   Don't put things off too long!!   Life goes by quickly.   So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether you're on the "back nine" or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life... so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember... and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!

"Life" is a gift to you.   The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after.   Make it a fantastic one.   LIVE IT WELL!   ENJOY TODAY!   DO SOMETHING FUN!   BE HAPPY!   HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Remember it is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.

LASTLY, CONSIDER THIS:

• Your kids are becoming you... but your grandchildren are perfect!
• Going out is good... Coming home is better!
• You forget names... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!
• You realize you're never going to be really good at anything... especially golf.
• The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
• You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed.   It's called "pre-sleep."
• You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.
• You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???
• What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
• Everybody whispers.
• You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet... 2 of which you will never wear.

But Old is good in some things:
Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS."

The Back Nine!

I received this message in an e-mail from an OLD friend & fraternity brother.   It really hit home!   Truer words were never spoken!

You know...time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.   It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate.   Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went.   I know that I lived them all.   I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.

The image above is the 18th hole of Bermuda's Mid Ocean Club.

But, here it is...the "back nine" of my life and it catches me by surprise. How did I get here so fast?

Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that "I was only on the first hole" and the "back nine" was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like.

But, here it is... my friends are retired and getting gray... they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me... but, I see the great change... Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant...but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd become.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day!   And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory!   Cause if I don't on my own free will... I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so... now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!!

But, at least I know, that though I'm on the "back nine," and I'm not sure how long it will last... this I know, that when it's over on this earth... it's over.   A new adventure will begin!   Yes, I have regrets.   There are things I wish I hadn't done... things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.

So, if you're not on the "back nine" yet... let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think.   So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly!   Don't put things off too long!!   Life goes by quickly.   So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether you're on the "back nine" or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life... so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember... and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!

"Life" is a gift to you.   The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after.   Make it a fantastic one.   LIVE IT WELL!   ENJOY TODAY!   DO SOMETHING FUN!   BE HAPPY!   HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Remember it is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.

LASTLY, CONSIDER THIS:

• Your kids are becoming you...but your grandchildren are perfect!
• Going out is good...Coming home is better!
• You forget names... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!
• You realize you're never going to be really good at anything...especially golf.
• The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
• You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed.   It's called "pre-sleep."
• You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.
• You tend to use more 4 letter words..."what?"..."when?"...???
• Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
• You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
• What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
• Everybody whispers.
• You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet...2 of which you will never wear.

But Old is good in some things:
Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

One more dude to add to the "IST" list!

Here we go again.   Went to my oncologist (cancer dude) the other day to get my 6+ hour Rituxin treatment (poison drip).

Two hours into the ordeal oncologist sits down with me in the "poison dripping room".   He tells me he's happy with my progress, but now he wants me to schedule an appointment with a phrenologist (kidney dude)!  

Hit the rewind button back to a month ago!   Same oncologist is very precautious and is heavy into blood test results.   He was concerned that my PSA count was high and recommended I see my urologist (male plumbing dude).   Urologist and his surgeon buddy is the same dude that removed my kidney ten years ago!   I scheduled an appointment to see the urologist.   Urologist is also concerned about the level of my PSA count and wants to perform a prostate biopsy the following week.   The day before the procedure, I have to do the whole enema thing!   Ugh!

I return to urologist the next day.   Receptionist informs me that I need to take two shots in the rear end (ouch...two big ouches) and then wait in the waiting room for an hour.   I mistakenly assume that these two shot were to numb my prostate for said biopsy.   Wrong!

An hour passes and my name is called.   Urologist enters the room 20 minutes later.   Once again, I'm told to strip from the waist down, lay down on my left side, knees tucked into my chest as close as possible.

Urologist takes out a long (really long) needle.   I ask what's that for?

His reply..."It's for the anesthesia!"   So I ask "what were the other two (painful shots) for" (an hour ago).   His response..."Oh those were just the antibiotic shots!"   Next image is probably not safe for work...aka NSFW!

Bottom line, 20 or so minutes later...I left the urologist's office and walked to my car.   I was was walking as if I was sodomized by something much larger than a urologist's biopsy tool...more like an elephant's trunk...if you can imagine that!

Okay...so now on to the phrenologist!

The Invasion of Iraq! Happy 10th Anniversary!

So far...here's what the numbers are saying ... at least to me, that is!

This IRAQI debacle has cost the American tax payer just over two TRILLION dollars under Dubbya's regime!

• Over a total of 190,000 people were killed/bombed/nuked/droned/whatever!
• Of that number...100,000 were Iraqis.
• another 4,000+ Americans died hunting for "weapons of mass destruction"!
• another 32,000 Americans were wounded and there are an untold number of American soldiers suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome)

Aside from PTSD...we have no idea of the number of Americans and its' allies that had their young/innocent heads "f*cked up by this invasion!"

And according to other war mongers...aside from (and including) Bush, Cheney, Rumsfield and a few others...this fiasco would eventually be funded by the supposed "cheap flow" of oil from Iran once Dubbya got rid of Saddam!

Postscript:
Just filled up my tank!   $4.39/gallon.   I can't complain.   It was $4.59 this time last year...and under $4.00 in Providence Forge, Virgina   Thanks Dubbya!

Don’t blame me! I voted for McGovern!

At the 1972 Democratic National Convention in Miami Beach, Florida, George McGovern delivered his acceptance speech as the Democratic Presidential nominee.   His speech was delayed for several hours that night as delegates fought over the party platform.   He eventually accepted the nomination around 2 am.

I stayed up that night to watch McGoverns's acceptance speech.   I didn’t get to bed until 3AM that night/morning!   I had high hopes back then.

  This was the second time that I voted for the President of the United States and I voted for George McGovern.   I actually thought he had a shot at this.   Unfortunately (at least for me) Nixon won by a landslide!   Nixon took every state except Massachusetts (and the District of Columbia).   I was in a state of shock…but Watergate eventually proved me right!

Rest in Peace George McGovern.

6 27 46 51 56 Powerball = 21

Those are the winning Powerball numbers.   Those numbers had a cash value of $241 MILLION DOLLARS!   As you can see from my $20 worth of tickets below...I had ONE number, yes ONE...the number SIX!   My tickets were worth nothing!   Nada!   Someone in Lapeer, Michigan (population 9,000) walked away with it all!

Had I won, I would have chartered a cruise ship…the entire ship.   I would have invited all my family and friends.   Would fly all of them, first class, to our port of departure.   Would give each of them $100 GRAND!   And that’s just for starters!   Did I mention a few million to each of my, and my wife’s, siblings and really close friends...really close?

But I didn’t win anything.   Like I said...NADA!   So nobody ain’t getting’ nothin’ (I know…triple negative)!

Happy Birthday…Yesterday!

I’m not really big into celebrating my own birthday.   Perhaps it’s because my “big day” is in July and during my formulative years, I spent my summers away at camp.   So, from seven to seventeen….the campers sung Happy Birthday to me and that as it!   My biggest surprise was the big three-oh (my thirtieth).   The bride threw a nice surprise b-day party for me.   It was truly a surprise.   That was a long time ago…before kids, etc.

So yesterday was nice and low key…just the way I like it!   We returned from a “semi-destination” wedding (2+ hours away and overnight stay…more about that in another entry!)   We got home about 6:00PM.   Around 8:00PM, my daughter, son-in-law and grandson popped in and shortly thereafter returned with a (small…and very cool) Carvel Ice cream cake.   We sucked down the cake and then I opened the card…

It really blew me away! Then there was a gift! Totally unexpected…and the gift really blew me away too! Really! Gotta figure out a way to make these myself!

Friends of a Certain Age?

OK...another article in today's   (Sunday)...New York Times.   The subject is friendship!   I can definitely relate to this.   The premise is that our closest friendships are established in high school and college...and during our early years of employment.   The article goes on to say that creating new friendships becomes more difficult as we grow older.

Per the article..."Our story is not unusual.   In your 30s and 40s, plenty of people enter your life, through work, children's play dates, and of course, Facebook"   (I'm not there yet!).  

"But actual close friends - the kind you make in college, the kind you call in a crisis - those are in shorter supply"!

Personally for me, my high school and college experience/memories are a big part of who I am...and so are my friendships!   I am very fortunate!   My wife and I attended the same high school...but that's a whole   'nother story!

The Fatherless...

Hey…I’ve got two awesome daughters and one hell of a grandson.   So I’m a happy “Dad”, “Daddy”, “Dude”, “Pop Dukes”!

I have a lot to be thankful for!   I wish all (if not most) of the children in America…(or for that matter...the world) could wish their Dads’ a Happy Fathers Day…but it just ain’t so.   You can do your own research and google “fatherless”.   Here are some things I found.   Children from fatherless (single parent) homes account for:

• 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders 
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children 
• 71% of all high school dropouts 
• 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers 
•  63% of youth suicides And the list goes on!   

Like I said, do your own research but these are depressing statistics.   So to you families with a Dad…or even two Dads…a really Happy Fathers Day.   Big props to JCPenny (and One Million Moms…go f**k yourselves)!

I know there are exceptions to this rule (of fatherless homes) …but I guess overall, more often than not…two is better than one.   I think I’m one of those exceptions of the two versus one rule.   Overall…I think I turned out okay….but a lot of unanswered questions still remain unanswered…and I’m certain I’ll go to my grave not knowing some of the specifics.

My parents divorced in the mid 50s.   That was unheard of back then…at least in my neighborhood.   As a young boy…I didn’t know anyone else whose parents were divorced…and I never knew (and still don’t know) why my parent’s marriage ended in divorce.   At the time (I was nine years old), my Mom told me that my Dad had moved out a few years earlier so that we could have more room in our small apartment.   At that time, she didn’t use the word separation and I believed her hook…line…and sinker!   No questions asked…but it affected me.   In a way, it still does.

When I was 16…I finally asked her what the deal was with her and my father…that’s when she told me they had divorced years ago…when I was nine.   Like I said…I don’t know why.   My Mom claims that the war (WWII) had changed my Dad.   He was drafted and was sent overseas while my Mom was pregnant with my older brother.   My Dad’s mother died while he was overseas and he couldn’t return for her funeral.   So it was a lot of stuff.   I’m sure there was more to it than just that…fell out of love maybe…PTSD???   The fact that my grandfather, Dad’s father-in-law, had moved in with us in that small apartment?   Who knows?

I think I was born exactly nine months after his return from his overseas’ WWII duty…1946.   Nine years later…they were divorced.   Like I said…I still don’t know exactly why…and at this point, in all likelihood I never will.   They both died over 20+ years ago.

The Transition...

I don’t know when it actually happened.   It wasn’t any particular day…month or year…but for the majority of us male baby boomers…I think it eventually happens!   On February 8, 1988, I quit smoking…cold turkey!   I think that was the beginning of end or the start of the transition.

Perhaps all those years of smoking had cut back on my appetite.   During that next week or so…my head was buried in the refrigerator and I ate damn near everything in sight.   Up until that time, I had smoked for over twenty five years and I was exceeding over 2 packs a day!!!   They cost a dollar a pack back in those days!

I was a consistent 183 pounds for the previous 20 years!   No exercise…no nothin’!   I think the newly evolved (1987) love affair with rum (Bacardi LIGHT please)…and tonic...Schwepps diet…(yeah I said diet) didn’t help matters either!   (Try this combo and you’ll never go back…throw in a slice of lime…and you’re one step away from heaven!)   But I digress!

What transition you may ask?   Smoking cessation?   Giving up the gin & tonic for the rum & tonic?   I only wish that were the case!   There is a certain point in time, for many of us male baby boomers, that you and your loved ones no longer refer to your mid-section as your stomach!

Why?   For those of you that may have been lucky enough to have had a stomach (or worse yet…abs) at one point in your life…it’s no longer there!   It just went away!   So what happened?   Where did that stomach or those abs go?   Well my friend…they evolved.   They transitioned.

Hello world…where the f**k has my stomach gone?   For that matter…where have my genitals gone?   I can barely see them anymore!   Oh…let me look in the mirror.   Yes!   I see them!   Thank god!

They’re still there…but the stomach ain't!

Hello…BELLY!

Damn!

Post script:
Perhaps there is still a stomach in my future…despite my age!   Stomach…perhaps!   Abs?   Who am I kidding!

Oh…as an aside…as the saying goes…”Live and Learn (and google)”…there is a small segment of the male population that loves them some (hairy bellies)!   Who knew?