Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Cruisin' with my Peeps!
As part of our two week vacation to Key West and other parts of Florida, the Mrs. and I opted for a two-and-a-half day cruise to Nassau out of Miami. Actually, Carnival advertises it as a 3 night, 4 day(?) cruise! Given that this particular cruise departs from Miami at 4PM on Friday (we didn’t depart until about 7PM) and returns to Miami at 7AM on Monday…that’s two-and-a-half days by my count!
Look…I don’t have anything against store bought hair…but when it screams store bought…that just sends me over the edge. There was obviously so much store bought sh*t on this cruise that Chris Rock could have filmed a sequel here!
Yes! I'm going to hell!
All in all, it was a relaxing and enjoyable journey. One day (+) in Nassau and a day at sea on the return voyage. Aside from that, what captured my attention more than anything else, were the "looks" of many of my fellow passengers (2,600+)!
My wife thinks I’m going to hell for these comments, but what I saw amazed me for two-and-a-half days. It started from the moment we arrived at the pier in Miami. My wife rolled her eyes at me every time I pointed out these things. Pointed out what? That’s what you’re probably thinking. Well here goes. These are my personal observations…and yes…I’m probably going to hell!
Store bought hair!
- It was everywhere...EVERYWHERE!!!
- Braids, wigs, extensions and more braids in every shape, size, color and length imaginable! Mid-back or waist length were the lengths of choice.
- There were enough braids, if tied end-to-end, could circle the world!
- Everywhere I looked there were braids! It was a braids onslaught!
Gold!
For the women, it was the big (and I mean BIG) gold hoop earrings. If not hoops, saucer size were just as fine. For the men…I noticed a few gold teeth…maybe more than a few!
Fat (obese) folks!
I should talk! Overweight…yes, obese no! We’re talkin’ both men and women. These were big people…people! Somehow, many of the overweight women prefer to wear these ankle length jersey dresses, preferably in two or three sizes too small! You get to see sh*t you don’t want to see. Do they have magic mirrors at home? Do they have any mirrors at home?
Tattoos…EVERYWHERE!
Neck (ugh), semi-exposed titties, arms, calves, backs, ankles, EVERYWHERE! Did I mention the titties!
Monday, July 14, 2014
Internet Withdrawal Symptoms?
Got on a short (3 night) cruise. WIFI was available for a PRICE!
- 480 minutes for $159
- 240 minutes for $89
- 120 minutes for $59
- 45 minutes for $29
- Pay As You Go: $0.75/minute
75¢/minute! Two hours access for about $30/hour! Are you f*ckin' kidding me??? Now I am back in a hotel. It ain't free... it's $9.75 a day. That's a 24 hour day! That's a bargain compared to the ship's prices! I'm back online! Welcome aboard!
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Louie Gohmert Proves That God Exists!
Background check below from rationalwiki.org:
"Louie Gohmert is a Republican Representative from Texas (first elected in 2004) and an accomplished idiot. He continues Texas' long, well-deserved reputation of electing eminently stupid people to federal office. He survives by hewing as far right as he can go in an already right-wing state, including jumping on the birther train in 2009 and the Tea Party movement in 2010. Despite getting elected year after year, as a representative, nothing he says accomplishes anything beyond wasting time, his proposed bills go nowhere, and his role on every House committee is to be a big dumb waste of space."
"However, he's tolerated by the Tea Party movement because he's a reliable supporter of whatever their political position du jour is, including opposing Obamacare, taxes, gun control, the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, and the American Jobs Act stimulus bill."
"What makes Gohmert remarkable isn't his run-of-the-mill Tea Party positions, but rather, that he defends them with incredibly stupid reasons. Jesus hates taxes! Gun control will lead to bestiality! The American Jobs Act is an attack on marriage! Obama talking to BP about the 2010 oil spill is just like Hitler! Foreign aid to China will lead them to sell us food with cats and dogs in it! Oil pipelines are good for wildlife! Hate crimes legislation leads to necrophilia!"
Postscript: You just can't make this sh*t up! Texans actually vote for this guy!!!
Sarah Palin: Impeach President Obama!
"Enough is enough of the years of abuse from this president." His unsecured border crisis is the last straw that makes the battered wife say, 'no mas.'"
Source: Sarah Palin via Breitbart (another wacko)!
"Without borders, there is no nation, Obama knows this. Opening our borders to a flood of illegal immigrants is deliberate. This is his fundamental transformation of America. It’s the only promise he has kept."
“President Obama’s rewarding of lawlessness, including his own, is the foundational problem here. It’s not going to get better, and in fact irreparable harm can be done in this lame-duck term as he continues to make up his own laws as he goes along, and, mark my words, will next meddle in the U.S. Court System with appointments that will forever change the basic interpretation of our Constitution’s role in protecting our rights.”
"It’s time to impeach; and on behalf of American workers and legal immigrants of all backgrounds, we should vehemently oppose any politician on the left or right who would hesitate in voting for articles of impeachment. The many impeachable offenses of Barack Obama can no longer be ignored. If after all this he’s not impeachable, then no one is."
Thanks to John McCain for crawling under a rock and finding this slug!
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
President Barack Obama’s Quilt???
My wife is a quilter. As a matter of fact, I think she’s a damn good quilter!
She is contributing this quilt to be part of a blind auction for a local civic cause.
Usually, once she completes the cutting, piecing and sewing, she often sends her work out to a third party to add the “batting”, backing and machine quilting for the final result (short of the binding work). This time…instead of sending the quilt, we decided to deliver it in person.
Over the course of years, our third party quilting “resource” has developed into a great friendship. While we were at her shop, we were talking about our kids, retirement, possible vacation plans and an assortment of other topics. At some point during our conversation, our quilting friend said how much she loves President Obama especially because of the Affordable Care Act! We asked what was behind this love affair!
Both she and her husband are 64 years old and are self-employed entrepreneurs.
At 64, neither are yet eligible for Medicare and have not begun to collect Social Security. They were paying $2000 per month for health insurance! TWO GRAND per MONTH!!! As entrepreneurs, health insurance was their second largest monthly expense. Once they signed up for the Affordable Care Act (aka…Obamacare), their health insurance (for the EXACT same coverage) is now $500 a month!!!
They went from two grand per month to five hundred for the EXACT same coverage!!! I encouraged them to write the White House!
Monday, July 7, 2014
Mangoes!
The mango is a juicy stone fruit belonging to the genus Mangifera, consisting of numerous tropical fruiting trees, that are cultivated mostly for edible fruit. The majority of these species are found in nature as wild mangoes.
These beauties are from my sister/brother-in-laws Florida backyard! Go check out mango.org for other Mango goodness!
Saturday, July 5, 2014
KLM: "Adios Amigos"! WTF?
What was meant to be a joke has turned into a PR blunder for Dutch airline KLM after it angered Mexican soccer fans by taking to Twitter to celebrate the Netherlands' dramatic comeback victory in the World Cup.
Within minutes of the Netherlands' 2-1 victory over Mexico, KLM let loose on its Twitter feed a picture of an airport departures sign under the heading "Adios Amigos!" Next to the word "Departures" is the image of a man with a moustache wearing a sombrero. That Twitter posting has since been removed.
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